Ah yes… hello.
I’m back? No. I don’t know. It’s been a few years since I uploaded any videos on YouTube or published a blog post. Not that anyone cares. And it wasn’t my intention to stop posting. With just under 9k subscribers on YouTube and people actually following this blog, I thought it might be time to try again. Someone is there, after all.
The truth is I took a long break. Essentially, my life didn’t start until about two years ago, and before that I was sleepwalking through it.
I’ve planned a “comeback” to the internet dozens of times. I’ve wondered what my intention is with any kind of return. I have so many videos I want to make. The loveliest comment I ever received on YouTube was that I had “journalistic integrity” – and as a reader you’re probably wondering what happened. So let me explain.
I was abused, simply put, for years. This person took me and crumbled me up into a ball, stripping me of my integrity and values, how I viewed myself, and erasing my self-esteem. I’ve spent the last few years gingerly putting myself back together with the help of maybe one too many tequila shots, tender (real) friendships, therapy (twice), and a partner who has given me nothing more than every ounce of true love and the respect I’ve deserved from the beginning.
All this to say, I think I’m ready to return to the internet. I have so much to say and nobody to silence me. Oh, and those pesky NDA’s expired as well… which certainly helps.
BlueMJ 