I finish with Accutane in May.
I’ve been on it since September 17th. The photos I’m sharing are from September 25th, January 25th, and now February 25.
There is only one single regret I have which is that I did not start Accutane sooner. Dr’s and parents and friends and influencers all scared me off of the idea of Accutane after so many years of considering it. Eventually I would convince myself my acne wasn’t “bad enough” to result in needing 6 months of brutal dryness and nasty side effects, even if it meant I would no longer cry when I looked in the mirror or spend hours beating myself down daily.
We’re getting to the end now. While I have three months left and they are by far the most brutal (we’ll touch on that later) my skin is glowing. My confidence is renewed in myself, and my love for my bare natural skin has never been stronger. My love for MYSELF has never been stronger. I realize it’s wrong to place so much influence on the way you look and to tie it so closely with how you feel about yourself on the inside, but I’m not going to sugar coat this. I’ve spent 6 years or so believing that the people around me only saw my imperfections, the red marks, cystic acne and scars; that they weren’t really looking at ME… they weren’t seeing my blue eyes and smile and happiness. I’ve always fielded unsolicited acne advice for most of my youth and been treated by strangers with vague disgust similar to that of someone who is just very unclean. It’s never been pleasant. Even on days when I did feel relatively okay about leaving the house with no foundation on, and maybe dare I say I even felt confident, it was unavoidable that some stranger would make a comment and put me down in some small way. This happened while shopping, at the grocery store, walking around downtown, and even at work.
I don’t regret Accutane and I never will, but the side effects can be painful. At 40mg, I haven’t noticed hair loss or weight issues. Thankfully Accutane hasn’t made me nauseous (it’s one of the few effects not reported) and I haven’t had to get blood work done. However, I have noticed dry eyes and lips that are pretty severe; sometimes my face will flash bright red, and I’ll experience IBS. Even joint pain has been a bigger problem over the last few months. It doesn’t help that I live in Vegas and it’s dryer here than most anywhere else in the continental US.
Still, I’m so amazed and thrilled with the results of Accutane and my skin. It may seem small to others, but seeing photos of myself with no makeup on and clear skin has been one of the best feelings in the world. It’s made me feel like myself. You should never feel less like you because of something uncontrollable like acne. x